Why I'll never make a Marketeer

Marketing types, don't you just loathe them? Opinionated, smug, superficial and shallow. Full of froth and believers of their own bullshit. The Marketing World is full of them and their bibles preach rigid conformity to the need treat your respective Customer base with proportionately less-respect than they actually deserve.

Two beautiful examples jumped out at me from today's email communication from the club. The first we have already seen, but there is a reminder today that the extended deadline to guarantee your existing season ticket seat runs out soon. Then we get the marketing line to remind us that the deadline was extended "due to the backlog of renewal forms at the Valley commercial centre." Let me get this right. So many of us have inundated the club with early renewal forms (payments) that they have a huge backlog and have, therefore, extended the deadline, presumably in the hope of increasing the backlog? Yes, it took someone with marketing qualifications to come up with that one. Sorry, but I feel our intelligence is being insulted here. The reason you would extend this deadline is because you have not got a backlog of applications to deal with. Extend the deadline by all means but don't try a marketing justification.

The second one concerns the sale of a new limited edition print of the Valley for £135. I am sure this is an attractive picture and probably one I would look seriously at buying. The accompanying blurb tells us that the prints are not framed, which for £135 makes them expensive in my book. A decent frame will move the cost to close to £200 for a print. However, the Marketing person has decided to qualify the lack of a frame by helpfully explaining that they "come rolled with a hand-tied ribbon." A hand-tied ribbon? Just think how beautiful this print will look on your sideboard, rolled up in a hand-tied ribbon. No, on the grounds that you couldn't sell them folded up and that they are unframed, the cheapest solution is to roll them up and tie them "by hand." My contributions on Marketing at my place of work are rarely appreciated and I'll take it for granted that those responsible for these gems won't thank me either!